With Daily Mail and Daily Express headlines screaming SEND IN THE GUNBOATS, it seemed to Tom Scott that Rule Britannia needed rewriting to reflect Brexit Britain’s proud new status as a banana republic (without the bananas).
Rule, Britannia! Britannia waives the rules!
Keep on voting for the crooks, you utter fools.
While Brexit conmen rule the roost,
Corruption spreads its ugly stain.
This is the charter of the land,
And evil spirits sing this strain:
The nations not so cursed as thee
Will see their rotten tyrants fall,
While yours shall ‘scape their crimes scot-free:
The most dishonest of them all.
The more outrageous are their lies,
The more they plunder from your folk,
The more we hear the half-wit cries:
“But Boris is a jolly bloke.”
Your haughty tyrants ne’er shall fear;
All your attempts to tear them down;
They’ll buy you off with watered beer
While handing billions to their own.
They’ll kill your jobs and kill your kin,
And all your woods and streams defile,
And tell you “Take it on the chin!”
While laughing at you all the while.
Proud oligarchs the world around
Shall to your tax-free shores repair.
Cursed isle! with foul corruption crowned,
While millions suffer in despair.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, waives the rules!
Keep on voting for the crooks, you utter fools!